During the trip, we had opportunities to go visit the villagers in their homes and attend the house churches. As usual, not knowing what to expect, I just went along believing that God would do his thing.

Mark 16:20 says “And they went out and preached everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by accompanying signs.”
He confirms the message, He confirms His Word. I don’t have to try to make it happen.

DAY 1
And so we went out on the first of two trips to the villages. I fell asleep on the drive to the villages and when I awoke, I was surrounded by land as far as the eye could see. I was awed by how vast it was. It made me feel small, dazed and intimidated. The simplicity of the living conditions was astounding. A family would be staying in a hut, half the size of most people’s bedrooms. My attention was pulled to the sight of 4 little children, 2 guys and 2 girls standing in the little plot of land outside their hut. They were naked.

As we made our way into the village, I quickly realised that the house at the entrance of the village was the biggest one, probably belonging to the village head. The huts in the village were much smaller and stood side by side along the road. The entrance was about 1.4 metres high. There were a lot of children around as well. These were the ones who were still too young to go to school. They were running around and playing amidst the pigs that weren’t tied to posts beside the entrances. Our guide and translator, Hau, had mentioned earlier that there were many children in the village and she wasn’t kidding. It occurred to me that they had no knowledge of birth control or contraceptives.

Later on when we walked quite a distance to another part of the village, about 15 minutes away, we arrived at an orphanage. Here I discovered that there were about 24 children being taken care of by a Christian lady. Here I learnt that if families got too large for the man to support, children had to be given away. The lady shared about how her husband, who recently passed away, had started the orphanage. When they first started, they only had 3 cups of rice for themselves and a child. But as they trusted in God and more and more children came into the orphanage, she testified that they had never gone hungry.

As I glanced around the room, I noticed scripture verses pasted all over the walls. They were written side by side in Burmese and English. These were the promises of God that they were claiming. At that moment, she gestured towards the space between the staircase and the prayer corner. There lay 4 large sacks of rice. Her faith produced more than a 1000% increase in rice.

John 6:35 says “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.”

Isaiah 49:10 says “They shall neither hunger nor thirst, neither heat nor sun shall strike them; For He who has mercy on them will lead them, Even by the springs of water He will guide them.”

Life in December is so packed. After coming back from a wonderful trip from Myanmar, I had to immediately prepare myself for youth camp. The more I think about it, the more I realise how much I still have to learn about the ministry. Sometimes it seems as if I'll never be able to reach the standard or the proficiency that we see many well-known evangelists or preachers. But thats not the point right? I really thank God for the things He's showing me and revealing to me.

Training takes time and I praise God that He has giving me the ability to learn by observation. I realise that even with learning music, I'm the kind of person that needs to watch and listen. Then I need to try it out to get the hang of it. Principles and theories do very little to convince me. Thats why I feel that having the opportunity to teach and minister in Myanmar did a lot to educate me. I keep getting comments from people that I am a "teacher". Maybe its the way I present the topics or explain things but I don't feel as if I am special in that area. My session with the students from the Church Planting Institute went pretty well. I was slightly nervous before I started but praise God that I was able to keep my focus. I did waver somewhere in the middle when I couldn't find my place in the notes. But I felt that I was able to come back. The time that the translator took also helped me to think before every sentence.

I was really encouraged by what Pastor 'V' said to the students after my session. I had mentioned during my introduction that I was halfway through my first year in bible school. He told them that they should be able to preach like I did because they have already been in training for almost 3 years. It really puzzled me. It must have been God working through me because I felt like I was nowhere near being a benchmark for the students.

While preparing for the teaching, God showed me Jeremiah 1:7-9
“Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!”
Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth!”(NLT)

It made me realise that God was more concerned about the people than my shortcomings. In Jeremiah 1:12.
Then the LORD said to me, "You have seen well, for I am watching over my word to perform it."(ESV)

Muted amazement.
I don't want to sound like a newbie and squeal about every little thing that I saw in 'The Golden Land' but at the same time, the things that I saw God doing is worth shouting about!! Its plain to see that God has great plans for that nation. I was constantly amazed at how willing He was to use us to achieve His purpose. Its almost as if He was using any excuse there was to bless them! It seemed as if He used us despite our shortcomings.

As I prepared for this trip, I didn't know what to expect. I had no clue what the land looked like. I had no idea what the people did or how they spoke. Even when the team landed in Yangon, I couldn't form an impression of them. It was clear that many were living in poverty. There were great physical and fiscal needs. But I felt that there was something that God wanted to tell me about them. I just couldn't grasp it at the time.

It wasn't until the next morning that I realised what God was trying to tell me. We made our way by bus to the church where the team would do its first seminar. The journey through the residential area made me pray and wonder why I didn't feel anything for them. But as we approached the church, I felt as if something in the atmosphere was changing. One way to put it was that I could feel that I was approaching the church before I actually saw the church. Coming down from the bus, I quickly realised that there was a live worship going on. So I rushed to the entrance of the church and looked for the live band. All I could see at the front of the room were 2 girls and a guy singing. There was a keyboardist and a guitarist at the side too. It was bizarre because what I heard and what I saw didn't make sense to me. The congregation, made up of a large majority of people over 40 were shouting and jumping and praising God.

Thats when it hit me. Thats when the Love of God came sweeping over me. The realisation hit me like a wave. God loved this country. It wasn't a comparison to the love that He had for any other nation. He was beginning to show me His heart for Myanmar. They were something special.

Types of Redemption in the Old Testament
The Brazen Serpent
Numbers 21 - Background

1. We see again the complaints of Israel against God and against Moses. By doing so, they stepped out from under the hand of protection of God. They were no longer heeding the conditions that were stated in Exodus 15:26.
   Fiery serpents came and bit the people and many died.
   
   
2. We see in verse 7 that the people were quick to repent and they begged Moses to intercede for them.
   God instructs Moses to make a fiery / bronze serpent and to set it on a pole. So that everyone who sees it shall live.
• The serpent on the pole is a type of Christ on the cross. Everyone who looked at the cross would live.
• Numbers 21:8 Then the Lord told him, “Make a replica of a poisonous snake and attach it to a pole. All who are bitten will live if they simply look at it!” 9 So Moses made a snake out of bronze and attached it to a pole. Then anyone who was bitten by a snake could look at the bronze snake and be healed! (NLT)
  
  
3. God strongly desires that His people would be living in fullness of health. That is why He made a way for the people of Israel. That is why He sent Jesus for us. The people were healed when they fixed their eyes on the serpent. What about us today? Today we have the real thing. The true and real Jesus. If we fix our eyes on Him, He heals us.
• Numbers 21:9 And Moses made a serpent of bronze and put it on a pole, and if a serpent had bitten any man, when he looked to the serpent of bronze [attentively, expectantly, with a steady and absorbing gaze], he lived. (AMP)
  

Types of Redemption in the Old Testament
Bitter Water Made Sweet
Exodus 15 - Background

1. Moses had just led the people of Israel out of Egypt and they had all seen the miracle of God parting the Red Sea.
• Exodus 14:31 Israel saw the great power that the Lord used against the Egyptians, so the people feared the Lord and they believed in the Lord and in His servant Moses.
  
  
2. So after praising God, they continued on their journey to the promised land. They travelled for 3 days and at the first sign of trouble, they started complaining again. They arrived at Marah (bitterness) where they finally found water but they couldn’t drink it because it was bitter.
• Exodus 14:24 And the people grumbled against Moses…
  
  
3. And Moses, being the super-spiritual giant of faith prayed with authority and commanded the water to become drinkable. NO!
   Moses was reacted in the same way any human under stress. He CRIED out to God.
   
   
4. God showed him a log / a tree, and Moses threw it into the water and the water became sweet.
1. The Log / Tree is a picture of the cross
2. The Waters of Marah / bitterness is a picture of pain, disease, sickness.
   
   
• John 4:14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.
• Isaiah 53:4 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! 5 But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. (NLT)
  
  
5. There are conditions that have to be met. Rules to enjoy the sweet waters.
• Exodus 15:26
• diligently heed the voice of the LORD your God
• do what is right in His sight,
• give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes

Types of Redemption in the Old Testament
Korah’s Rebellion & The Plague
Numbers 16 - Background

1. The pride and rebellion of Korah against Moses and Aaron was sin. If we look back at Leviticus 6 - 9, we see that God was raising up Aaron by teaching him the priestly responsibilities. God had chosen Moses and Aaron as priests The people had seen God approve of Aaron. (Leviticus 9:22-24) and here was this troublemaker Korah bringing 250 others like him to question their authority.
   
   
2. Sin leads to death. God gave a chance to the people to separate themselves from the judgement of Dathan and Abiram. The earth opened up and swallowed them all. The 250 chiefs were also burnt up by fire from the Lord.
   
• James1:14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
  
  
3. There is a compassion for the people. When they heard God’s judgement, immediately they fell facedown and interceded.
• Number 16:22 Then they fell on their faces, and said, “O God, the God of the spirits of all flesh, shall one man sin, and You be angry with all the congregation?”
• Romans 8:12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned. 17 For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.)
• Numbers 16:44 And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, 45 “Get away from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment.” And they fell on their faces.
• Romans 8:34 It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.
  
  
4. Numbers16:47 Then Aaron took it as Moses commanded, and ran into the midst of the assembly; and already the plague had begun among the people. So he put in the incense and made atonement for the people. 48 And he stood between the dead and the living; so the plague was stopped.
• This is a picture of what Christ did for us. Like Jesus, Aaron entered into the midst of disease and sickness.
• Jesus was the atonement, He paid the price, He stood between the living and the dead. There is an infection of sin in the world, which only the cross and intercession of Jesus Christ can stay and remove.
• Eziekiel 22:30-31 So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one. 31 Therefore I have poured out My indignation on them; I have consumed them with the fire of My wrath; and I have recompensed their deeds on their own heads,” says the Lord GOD.

Praise Life

The results and revelations of praise

How is it possible to describe the goodness of God in 200 words? Ever since coming into Rhema Bible Training Centre, God has been doing so much for me. Initially, I couldn’t tell the difference in myself. I had people coming up to me and telling me how I’ve changed and how different I’ve become. Glory to God!

Waking up in the morning can be a painful experience. When the mind is dull with sleep and every fibre in your body screams out for more sleep. Ever since my kindergarten days, I always dreaded waking up early. My parents would exclaim that it was as if the frame of my body had been fused to the mattress. Any attempt to get me out of bed before I was ready (5 minutes more!) would leave me grumpy and in a foul mood. This habit followed me down through the years.
A change came when I was reading a book and the author quoted Smith Wigglesworth.

I don't ask my body how it's feeling; I tell it how to feel.
- Smith Wigglesworth -

The revelation felt like a punch to the head. It occurred to me that I could choose to do that too! I decided to try it. And it was a disaster! I would mumble “Thank You God” under my breath when I woke up the next morning. But I was feeling as horrible as always. But I kept trying and kept praising God. I even turned on some praise and worship songs like “Rejoice in the Lord Always” in the morning which would change my focus and put a smile on my face.

I woke up today feeling pretty lousy. My body was aching from the drumming during AWE worship. My head was aching from all the thoughts rushing through my head. I went to the computer to try to install the new hard disk that I'd gotten but I couldn't get it to work. At that moment, I really felt very useless. I seriously didn't feel like going to church. As I was walking back to my room, I told myself, "This isn't the way I should be behaving!!" Thats when I started to pray in tongues and began to thank God and praise God for how good He is. Luckily there was no one at home because they would have be scared by my shouting, "Hallelujah" and "Praise God". And that was when I started to feel better! Praise God that when I stepped out of the elevator to the lobby, there was a cab waiting for me.

Many times in life, I would question God, “How come You don’t do the great things that I see in other people’s life for me?”
I would get upset when I heard good reports and testimonies from others. Not upset at them or that good things were happening to them. But upset that I was not experiencing those blessings. I wanted those blessings so much! I would pray fervently for God to bless me and use me to achieve His purposes.

God in His graciousness told me over a series of events that it wasn’t that He was withholding His blessings. It was that I wasn’t taking time to recognise it. I wasn’t giving Him the glory and praise that was due to Him. My understanding of His blessings was too shallow, selfish and warped. When I would pray for a situation, I would come to Him with preconceived ideas on how I wanted Him to work. Ways which I could figure out with my mind.

He began to show me His hand guiding and protecting me in my life. He reminded me of things that He’d done for me when I was in Polytechnic, in the army, in church and even now in Rhema Bible Training Center. He told me in such a loving way that it offended Him that I wasn’t thanking Him. You see, I was demanding that things be done in my way and even though He fulfilled His plans in a more glorious and splendid way, I didn’t recognise it.

If I want to see more power, I’d have to learn to recognise and thank Him for what He’s already done for me.

He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much…
- Luke 16:10 -

I believe that because I’m praising Him, He’s showing me more and more adjustments that I have to make in my life. At the same time, He’s revealing more truths to me. Praise God forever!

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.
[Psalm 23:5-6]

A table? A table of what? A banqueting table. A feast. He indulges me in front of my enemy. God seeks to benefit me so that I can glorify Him. The devil doesn't like it that I'm enjoying a luxurious meal with my Father. Every bite I take of that wonderful buffet makes the devil mad. My Father and I find that very humourous indeed.

He then proceeds to anoint my head with oil. He blesses me greatly with this anointing. The oil is a type of Holy Spirit. And because of this, I am greatly filled with the power of the Holy Spirit. My cup overflows. I cannot contain the blessings and riches that He pours out on me. (John 7:37-39)

I become like a magnet for blessings of His goodness and mercy. The New Living Translation says "Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life".
All this because of His Grace and Love. Because He is my shepherd. I shall not want / I will not be in want / I have all I need / I shall not lack. Not only for my sake. But for His honor and glory.

I think I was more encouraged than them when I saw that they were encouraged at what I was initially encouraged about.

This is what I learnt today. Today made me realise how much God is directing and blessing my life. I've been constantly encouraged since I got in to the car to go to school this morning. Listening to Reinhard Bonnke's sermons really inspire and encourage you. Shared about God's goodness in my life during 'Praise Life' which Lynette was teaching.

During Prayer School, I received the words, "Right place at the right time." An then, God showed me to head down to Plaza Singapura. So thats where I had the first meeting with Mark today. The first of many more to come I hope. After that I took a bus to Suntec City to submit the timesheet for Life Bookshop. I met Natalie Francois on the bus and it brought to mind her brother. I prayed for him on the bus.

After submitting the timesheet, I started to walk back to city hall MRT through the city link mall. I remember feeling a little tired at the thought of having to take so long to get home. So I whispered a prayer to God. Thats when I bumped into Patricia who was making her way to meet Loong and Gloria at Marina Square. She invited me to join them and I did. It was such a good time of fellowship. I felt that God was showing me a glimpse of what He wanted me to do in the future through that meeting.

Could it be coincidence?
No.
Providence...

Blessing With Our Overflow
I've been having this in my heart for quite a few weeks now. A strong sense that God wants to empower our church. Not in the general way he wants to empower every Christian. But in a specific way that will help us achieve His purpose. God doesn't want to send the wounded and unarmed into battle. It would serve no purpose in sending us unequipped! It would do far greater harm than good if He allowed that.

But these few weeks have been nothing but amazing. Our times of worship have been going up spiritually. We are meeting God more often in church! I'm praying that it'll become the standard. Praise God that He is constantly revealing more of Himself. He wants to re-lay our foundations so that we are REALLY strong and secure in Him.

In Luke 24:49, Jesus told the disciples to wait for the power before they went out to minister to others. You see, God didn't intend for us to just have the Spirit when we were born again. He wants us to be filled till we overflow! It is His desire to see us prosper and succeed in life! And because of this abundance, we will have something to tell people about. Don't you find that whenever you truly encounter God, you really have something to talk about? Isn't it better to have something about your God that you love, that you can boast about? Things that would spark people's interest in to finding out why God is so good to us? We have to be UTTERLY CONVINCED how great our God is before we even attempt to reach out to others.

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. [3 John 2]

Obedience to God

Now Jericho was tightly shut up because of the Israelites.
No one went out and no one came in. Then the LORD said to Joshua, "See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams' horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have all the people give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the people will go up, every man straight in." [Joshua 6:1-5]

Instructions from God sometimes seem to make no sense. But as you see how the story goes, obedience to God's will releases a power that no circumstance can withstand. The story continues with Joshua making sure that all the instructions were followed. And when they did and gave a shout of victory at the end, the walls came down.

But imagine that you were one of the soldier's in the army of Joshua, marching around the walls everyday. What good would marching do? Logically, these instructions made no sense. But God often made no earthly sense in the past. But that didn't stop God from bringing victory right?

When I'm in God's will, difficulties, doubts and trials will definitely come my way. The devil will make sure of that. But these are merely acts of desperation on his part.

Imagine a soccer player tearing down the length of the field towards the opponent's/enemy's goal. The defender is desperately chasing you down and from the corner of your eye, you see him launch into a sliding tackle to try to cut you down from behind.

This is the moment in many people's spiritual life. This is the moment where you have to make the decision to either keep running or stop and be taken down. But in this moment, you have to remember that we're leading in the match 10 goals to nil. The defender cannot stop you from winning the match. The choice is whether you want to score that goal. It really takes the pressure off, doesn't it?
I want to score that goal. I want to fulfill God's will in my life.

What good is a shelter that doesn't protect?
What good is a shield that cannot be used?

What good is salvation if it is NOT for the blessings?
What good is Jesus Christ if He did not mean for us to live in victory?
"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." [John 10:10b]

What is the point of rituals and tradition if there wasn't a reason and purpose?
Aren't these things put in place to bring to our remembrance the power and authority given to us?
What good is it if there is nothing we can gain from it?
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. [2 Tim 1:7]

And if there is nothing we can gain from our relationship with God and from His promises, doesn't that mean that we are no different from mere religion?
What do we have to share about to the world then?
What do we have to rejoice about then?

"Would we still love God if there weren't any blessings?"
There's no need to think about that because the fact is, there ARE blessings.
"Let the LORD be magnified, Who has pleasure in the prosperity of His servant." [Psalm 35:27-28]

The question is, "will you believe and receive the blessings?" There very reason I rejoice when I go through difficulties and trials is because He blesses me with the ability to get through them. I can tell you right now that my God is not small. My God is rich and abundant! When my Father is rich and abundant, I am rich and abundant as well! I crave for God and His Word because I know He is good.

MY GOD BLESSES!!!

The end of another exam today. Time really passes quickly when you're having fun learning. September has been quite a draining month for me though. The Amy Sand Concert really took out a lot of time and energy. But I praise God for the chance to see 600++ people worshipping God in Church of Singapore. I think I was ministered to more than the people who came to see Amy Sand. During the worship, the praise leader shouted "Hallelujah!" and the people in the chapel, 2/3 of them were workers from China, shouted "AMEN!" in unison. I hope I'm getting this across when I write it. When I say unison, I really mean unison. I mean it sounded like a really loud united sound. I didn't understand the chinese lyrics of the worship songs or what the praise leader was saying, but I did recognise the love and adoration toward God. And I definitely recognised God's presence in that chapel.

Its funny, I think back on the times when I was in army, specifically SISPEC, and how much emphasis is placed on the marching and keeping in step. My section leader would always holler at us, reminding us, "One sound, one sound. You all won't stop until I hear one sound."
And we would go on and on marching till we got it. But thats in the natural. In the spiritual, it is so much easier. There's no need to spend hours in practice. Spirit-led worship is always united worship!

~~~ When I Speak Your Name ~~~
Jesus, the most beautiful name of all names
Jesus, the only name that brings healing and strength

When I speak your name
mountains move, chains are loosed
When I speak your name
darkness flees, it has no hold on me

Jesus, the most beautiful name that I know
You're the exalted one
Jesus, you have the power alone
You lift the lowly ones, Jesus

Jesus, the most the wonderful name of all names
Jesus, the only name that brings freedom and hope

[Be exalted (x3), higher and higher] x8
No other name (x4)
| Christ for the Nations Institute - Overtaken |

What a day. Spent the afternoon at parkway parade. First to Burger King for lunch and some reading. Then I made my way to the post office to find out more about the air mail rates for Eileen's really belated birthday present. (sorry =P)
Then I went to NTUC to buy ingredients for the spaghetti bolognese I was supposed to cook for the Rhema class gathering later that night. Thank God that I made the spaghetti. It was the only staple food available. Besides the delicious pie made by Phyllis. So after eating, we finally got down to sharing about our lives and passions. The whole thing was headed by Martin, the year 2 monitor. He's hilarious I tell you, but we were laughing more at the way he said things than what he said. We made our way through the testimonies of different people. I was really encouraged by how God worked through the lives of the different people around me. How He made things work out so that they could come to Rhema. There are no accidents when you walk in God's will. Its all well-planned.

Anyway, it came to my turn to share about how God brought me to Rhema. I felt God speaking through me. I remember seeing all of them listening intently to what I was saying. It really surprised me that I could keep talking while sharing my testimony. Clarence said to me while fetching back home that during the testimony, he heard God saying, "Here is someone I can use."

Oh, those six simple words that built me up in my spirit. It is such an honour and a priviledge. Immediately, my mind raced back to the words of prophecy and words of encouragement given by Reverend Patsy and Sani, a missionary I met 2 years ago on a mission trip. Here is a summary of the words of God on my life. The following is a quote from my blog on the 10 June 2004.

"To date, I know that I have a passion for worship/music, a desire to be used by God (a dangerous man for Him), I've been called special in God's eyes (everyone is!), been envisioned with wings (to protect others) and been described as having a heart like David. I also see myself giving God glory on a stage. These are like many sides of a shape that God has planned for me to be."

For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God and righteousness and sanctification and redemption that, as it is written, "He who glories, let him glory in the LORD."
| 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 |

2 weeks without blogging. I'm alive and well, praise God for that. I've just been really busy these weeks. Almost everyday now is packed with activities, be it work, practices, church or cell group. It almost feels weird to be sitting here at the computer on a saturday evening.

I really thank God for sustaining me through this two weeks. Sometimes you don't realise how blessed you are till you really sit down and think back. Being out of the house from 7 in the morning to 10 or 11 at night isn't something I think I'd be able to do in my own strength. I felt symptoms of the flu coming on before the last weekend. But praise God, through claiming His Word and drawing strength from Him, I was able to recover in 3 days. For those who are raising eyebrows and questioning what the significance is, the fact is that I'd usually take a week or more to recover.

Thinking about it, I have come to realise that our lifestyle has a lot to do with our general health. I've been brought up in a society where, in order to take a rest or to avoid something we don't like doing, I have to declare myself sick (aka. see the doctor to obtain an MC). Be it in primary, secondary or tertiary level, army or work, I had never once looked forward to it the way I look forward to school(Rhema) now. NEVER. In fact, I often dreaded going to school as a child. Thank God for positive changes!

Thank God for battles won! Thank You that the only battle we fight are those with ourselves. And even with those battles, we are the favourites to win. The odds are for us because He is for us. I'm positioning myself in the victor's podium.

And he said, "Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the LORD to you: 'Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's.
Tomorrow go down against them. They will surely come up by the Ascent of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the brook before the Wilderness of Jeruel.
You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the LORD, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!' Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the LORD is with you."
| 2 Chronicles 20:15-20 |

~~~ Found ~~~
Amazing love,
now what else shall I need
Your name brings life,
it's more than the air I breathe

My world was changed,
when Your love You gave for me
My purpose found
and all that You want for me

And I've found myself in You, Jesus
And I've found myself in You, Lord

So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You
So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You
| Hillsong - Mighty to Save |

There are songs which have so much power in the lyrics. So much anointing that comes from the voice of the vocalist. They grip the attention of your spirit and all pretense and semblance of Christian pride crumbles to pieces. You realise that it is because He loved us first. He redeemed us before we even had any idea that anything was wrong. You realise how wonderful He is when you think you're falling and He catches you. And you see that all along He's been watching you and looking out for you.

And from that, confidence in Him grows. You become sure of your steps knowing that He gives you balance, He gives your strength to walk and He leads you in the right direction. You start to run because you know even if you do trip and fall, He'll be right there to catch you or pick you up.

I love you, Father...

And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back.. ..to that place (home again).
| Jeremiah 29:12-14 (NKJV & NLT) |

Is it right for me to be discontented? Is it wrong for Christians to be happy? Is it wrong to have hope in what the bible says we have? To be reminded and encouraged that although we were sinners, we have been cleansed by the blood. And we rejoice that Jesus took away / removed / obliterated / annihilated / destroyed / eradicated / wiped out / dissipated / blotted out / omitted / forgotten our sins. That is the cause for celebration. That is the cause for rejoicing and praise!

We do not neglect the wonder of salvation. No! It is the platform and the basis of the power that is in store for us. The writer of Hebrews urges the church to move on to solid food. (Hebrews 5:12-14)

Hebrews 6:1,2
...let us go on to perfection, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, of the doctrine of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.

Look what is included in the "milk for babes".
- repentance
- faith toward God
- baptisms
- laying of hands
- resurrection of dead
- eternal judgment

The question is... Have we been getting the "full cream milk"? Hebrews 5:13 (AMP) says "For everyone who continues to feed on milk is obviously inexperienced and unskilled in the doctrine of righteousness (of conformity to the divine will in purpose, thought, and action), for he is a mere infant [not able to talk yet]!"
1 Peter 2:1-2 includes the "laying aside" of "all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking"

What is the doctrine of righteousness?
We are made righteous through faith (Romans 3:21-26)
Our Righteousness through Christ overcomes sin (Romans 5:12-21)
As simple as confessing the Lord Jesus and believing in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. By believing in the heart, we are made righteousness. (Romans 10:9,10)

Who needs solid food then? Hebrews 5:14 (AMP) says that they are for "full-grown men, for those whose senses and mental faculties are trained by practice to discriminate and distinguish between what is morally good and noble and what is evil and contrary either to divine or human law."
Another translation for full grown men is mature or perfect. It seems like quite a high requirement doesn't it? Who can claim to be perfect?

Thank God that even the apostle Paul didn't think he was perfect. In Philippians 3:12-16, Paul said, "Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Paul didn't claim to have attained perfection! He said he had not apprehended (obtained, understood, comprehended). But still he strove on. Paul continues to say, "Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind."

The Hebrew word mature or full grown is the same as the one used in hebrews 5:14. Being mature is about knowing what we have already and then digging deeper to find out more about God. Philippians 4:16 gives me the impression that maturity is not something that we can attain. But its a state that we must be in. The state of always seeking to learn more and hungering for more of the things of God.

Who's hungry?

If some Christians who have been complaining of their ministers had said and acted less before men and had applied themselves with all their might to cry to God for their ministers -- had, as it were, risen and stormed heaven with their humble, fervant, and incessant prayers for them -- they would have been much more in the way of success.
| Jonathan Edwards |

So be it.

Prayer meeting was good. I love how willing the Holy Spirit is. I love that He would come simply when we ask. I love it that He stays and people can just enter into His presence. I love it when I see people recognising the difference when He's around. Power for ministry comes by the Holy Spirit. Maybe thats whats lacking? Maybe? Prayer works. But it can be limited by man. I need to learn more about the Holy Spirit so that I can teach in the future. Its such an integral part of the Christian walk that it isn't funny how little the church delves into Him. We need Him and more of Him.

Behold, I send the Promise of My Father upon you; but tarry in the city of Jerusalem until you are endued with power from on high.
| Luke 24:49 |

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.... And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
| Acts 2:1,4 |

Would there be a need to tarry or wait for this power if it wasn't important? Was it a coincidence that it was only AFTER this infilling of the Holy Spirit that they were anointed to preach and teach with signs and miracles? Would I dare be so bold as to say the church can only grow if the Holy Spirit is present? Would I be so audacious to say that a church WITHOUT the Holy Spirit CANNOT grow? Or that its growth would be stunted?

Then Peter said to them, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call."

And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation." Then those who gladly received his word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to them. And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.
So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.
| Acts 2:38-47 |

Note that it was because of the baptism of the Holy Spirit that came first and foremost. Verses 42-45 about doctrine, fellowship, breaking of bread, prayer came as a result of being baptised and filled with the Holy Spirit. Then they were praising God and having favor with the people. People want to meet and fellowship because the Holy Spirit is there too. It all stems from the beginning. Being baptised in the name of Jesus Christ for salvation AND receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Now ask me why the Lord isn't adding to our church daily those who were being saved.

The idea is to be so familiar with scripture that you're able to quote it off the top of your head. I think I'm getting there. For now, I only remember several lines of scripture. What I do remember though is key areas or chapters in the bible. Romans 8,12 for Living by the spirit, John 14-16 about Jesus and the promise of the Holy Spirit, Acts 1, 10, 19 is about the baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. Hebrews 11 is about faith, Ephesians 1 and 3 is about praying for Christians to develop in their spiritual growth. But there's so much more to be uncovered and revealed! The crawling stage of school, the 1st term is over, its time to take baby steps. I want more.

How come there are restrictions? How come there's a ceiling? How come they don't see the Word? How come?
Its time to dig in deep. Deep.

My take on Psalm 42
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I long for you my dear God. I yearn for more of You.
To be able to stand in your presence
in the midst of like-minded people
To be able to rejoice with reckless abandon
How long more must I wait?

I am accompanied by disappointment
They don't see You, You don't matter to them
What happened to those joyous days
Where we would dance and sing
and simply linger in your presence?

Such a let-down, have we fallen so far?
My happiness was in You
To have a taste of heaven
and they took You away
But my memories drive me closer towards You.

I am almost overrun by difficulty
I can hardly have a glimpse of victory
But I know, His love surrounds me by day
and a sweet song by night
which I sing back to Him

Have You forgotten me?
My heart is bruised and hurt
because they don't see You, You don't matter
Why do I despair?
Don't I have every reason to?

Although I am cast aside
My joy is complete in You
and I give You praise where it is due
You put a smile on my face
And a glow of hope in my heart
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I woke up today feeling pretty lousy. My body was aching from the drumming during AWE worship. (I'll get to that in a moment) My head was aching from all the thoughts rushing through my head the night before. I seriously didn't feel like going to church. I went to the computer to try to install the new hard disk that I'd gotten but I couldn't get it to work. At that moment, I really felt very useless. I was telling myself that I had to get ready for church or I would be late. It was 10:45am and I was still contemplating. I finally convinced myself that I should go for service. As I was walking back to my room to prepare, I told myself, "this isn't the way I should be behaving!!"

Thats when I started to pray in tongues and began to thank God and praise God for how good He is. Luckily there was no one at home because they would have be scared by my shouting, "Hallelujah" and "Praise God". And thats when I started to feel better! Praise God that when I stepped out of the elevator to the lobby, there was a cab waiting for me.

"I don't ask my body how it's feeling; I tell it how to feel"
| Smith Wigglesworth |

Oh the audacity of Mr Wigglesworth! Well... its according to the bible so you've got to credit his boldness. You can't blame Mr Wigglesworth for being like that! You've got to blame the author of the bible. I wouldn't want to mess with God. =)

So anyway.. we had the All Worship Event (AWE) yesterday at Toa Payoh Methodist Church. The whole thing was fantastic. This is my first time playing for so many (500) people. It started off pretty unpolished. But after the testimony, things really began to flow. I loved the way my snare rang out when I worshipped. I've never played so happily before. And to see the youths on their knees in awe of my God, it made me want to worship even louder! I really enjoyed myself and I pray that this will be the start of something great within the methodist church.

Ok... I admit, the last post was pretty hard to read. But the idea is that you read the verses in the links provided. But even then its pretty hard to read without any commentary. Basically I was trying to prove that the inheritance that the apostle Peter was referring to was something that we have access to now.

So anyway... Today I learnt from Mark 4:13-32
From this passage, we see that the seed is the Word of God and the soil refers to the hearts of man. There are a few things we need to know about seeds.

1. Seeds don't look like their potential
2. Seeds are powerless until planted.
3. Seeds take time to grow.

There is tremendous potential in a seed. You can't number the potential fruits a seed will bear. The same goes for the Word of God. It holds infinite possibilities and incredible power. The things we do (prayer, bible study, serving in church) are just tools that we use to facilitate ideal conditions for the seed to grow.

How do we plant the seed?
If we look at the scripture in Mark 4, we see that the Word is sown by hearing. The difference is that in verse 20, the good ground, the ready hearts accepted it. The key is to hear and accept it UNTIL IT REGISTERS IN MY SPIRIT.
There is a seed for every need. The bible covers every need. But the Word of God is powerless until it is planted in our hearts. Faith to believe comes when the Word is planted in our hearts.

When you speak and pray the truth, the Holy Spirit agrees with you and power flows. The idea is to plant the seed, and return to it, watering it. When we understand that the seed planted in good soil is guarantee of results, we become assured. Voila, faith is produced. Faith produces faith.

Our inheritence

1 peter 1:3-5
this is 1 peter 1:3-5 in 5 different bible versions.

VERSE 4: the NIV and NASB use the phrase "kept in heaven for you". The
other 3 use the word "reserved". What I learnt is that it is reserved for us but
we have access to the inheritence NOW. I will elaborate more later.

VERSE 5: "who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation
ready to be revealed in the last time" (NKJV)
the verse starts of with who are kept. this shows that the verse is referring to
people, us, kept by the power of God through faith for salvation.

What is ready to be revealed in the last time?
the salvation of our souls / minds!

1 peter 1:6-9

VERSE 6: The presence of various trials tests our faith, gives glory to
God

VERSE 9: Receiving the end (goal, result, outcome, reward) of our faith.
Refers to the salvation of our souls

James 1:21-27

James 1:21 ==>; Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

James 1:22 ==>; The word is able to save our souls. Not JUST by hearing but by doing. In our ministry, our service, our works.

Ephesians 1:11 ==>; They use past tense.
"obtained". Through Christ we have this inheritence already. Jesus died so that
we receive the inheritence.

Faith receives the inheritence. And with this inheritence, we have what we
need to go through the various trials that test our faith.

I've been playing for the worship sessions in Rhema almost from the get go. I'm not complaining. I'm more than grateful for the opportunities to serve. The question is how do I take this service to the next level? This can't be it.
I thank God for the opportunity to play for the CAC All Worship Event. Gerald was supposed to play for it but he broke his finger. Poor guy. I'll also be playing for an upcoming rally with some chinese artiste. Steven Goh approached me a couple of weeks ago to help him out. Hopefully I don't embarrass myself.

I just got thrown into the deep end of the pool yesterday. I accompanied my sister to go register for driving lessons. My intention was just to book a date for the basic theory test but it seems the whole system has been changed and now they allow you to take driving lessons even BEFORE you've taken the basic theory test. So to make a painful story short, I transferred $1000.00+ into the account they created for me. Mummy described me as being in shock after that. She did offer to pay for the whole thing, bless her heart, but I declined. I guess this puts me on the fast lane to exercise my faith. I will never be in lack. I mean, God covered the cost of this time of training even when I wasn't asking for it! How great is God?!?

You'll let me know when I'm ready

On 6 August 2006, we were having prayer in the choir room before service.
"..For the mentality change in the leaders. And a change within all of us. So that we may be sent forth. So that the church can move in the right direction..."

I read this a couple of weeks later...
"One of the greatest needs of the church today is that God's people renew their minds with the Word of God. Just because a person is a Christian, and even filled with the Holy Spirit, doesn't mean that he has a renewed mind. The mind becomes renewed with the Word of God."
| Kenneth Hagin - Man On Three Dimensions |

I never had a scripture which spoke out to me so strongly before. Well, maybe Romans 12:1-2 about sacrifice and true worship. Like how a membership card always comes with a booklet stating the benefits? Imagine that booklet summed up in one simple scripture. Imagine the weight of the words declaring the truth to unlock and unleash the power, anointing, and promises of God. This would be it. This verse includes us into God's chosen people! This verse is the stamp of confidence that we have!

So you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have been made like him. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female. For you are all Christians--you are one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and now all the promises God gave to him belong to you.
| Galatians 3:26-29 (New Living Translation) |

My first day of school. Expectations change today. Both people's impression of me and my expectations of myself. I'm no good at crowds and being in unfamiliar situations. I find it hard to strike up conversation. Maybe because I'm afraid of sounding stupid. But thats just pride isn't it? Burn that!

Reverend Joseph and Reverend Stanley took some time to warm up today. But boy did they speak with power & boldness once they got there. The anointing was on them but I dare say that it isn't turned up all the way yet. My classmates & some of the seniors couldn't sit still after lessons because of their excitement. Why am I not jumping up and down in excitement? Why am I having such muted feelings in school? Could it be that I'm too serious about this place? I am having fun, don't get me wrong. I just feel that there's so much more!!! Maybe because I'm familiar with these topics. But dear God, don't ever let me become complacent. I want more of You!!

I smile to myself when I think of how simple it was to fall into my 'zone' of serving in worship. I volunteered to play the cajons for the worship session. Reverend Cynthia was so eager to try it out. I initially brought the church's cajon home to practice and experiment. Now I get to practice in a real worship setting. I tend to worry that I'm not as good as others. But if God calls you, whats there to worry about?

I'm reminded of sunday service yesterday. It was the last service in the sanctuary before the renovation. I'm not trying to imply anything or undermine anyone but was I the only one who sensed a difference? Coincidence? Most unlikely. Progress and growth comes from the Word. Knowing it and applying it. There were no stunts, no tricks, no fanfare. Just the distinct presence of God in that sanctuary. Flow comes from focusing on God, not by focusing on the flow. Revival comes from focusing on God, not by focusing on revival. The idea is to create a platform for the Holy Spirit to do His thing. Not to try to manipulate people or emotions. You can experience God through feelings and emotions but don't rely on them. God is always with us, the Holy Spirit always in us and Jesus always for us.

Some things I learnt from Joyce Meyer's "Battlefield of the Mind" and Watchman Nee's "Release of the Spirit".

Ms. Meyer starts of her book with a verse from Proverbs which I find really moving, both spiritually and philosophically.
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. (Proverbs 23:7)

Another verse from Romans puts it in more detail.
Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. (Romans 8:5)

If anyone struggles with their thoughts like I do, you'll understand how much this verse stood out for me. So often in our Christian walk, we are led by what we think is right. Or what we think is God's plan for us. Suffice to say, its our thoughts guiding our actions. But Romans 8:5 says those who live according to the Spirit will have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

So our actions affect our mentality?
Yes! Our mind has been "trained" by our actions since we were born. When we received salvation, our spirit was awakened, reborn, stirred up, re-kindled etc. (You get the point) But our physical and mental facilities remained the same. Therein lies the problem of ALL Christians.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)
I think many are familiar with this verse. I once believed that when paul said "do not conform" he meant that we were to rebel against the world. But I learnt that I was wrong. The opposite of conformity is not rebellion. When we rebel, we are still doing things in the flesh and by doing things in the flesh, we might be successful for awhile, but it will drain us. We're still doing battle on the world's playing field. I missed out the key point of the verse. You can almost hear Paul's plea. Be transformed! Be transformed by the power of the Spirit of God as He gives revelation. Be transformed by being in fellowship with God. Be transformed by being empowered and taking authority back from the devil. So that we claim back our dominion over things that are rightfully ours.

Our battlefield may take place in the mind but this is spiritual warfare. I remember in when was going through SISPEC in army, everytime we were getting ready to charge at the imaginary enemy, I would hold my rifle tight and mutter to myself, "Locked and Loaded!!" And it occured to me that its the same in the spiritual realm. We have to be locked in the Word of God and loaded with prayer and praise. Prayer is one of the best weapons.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)

Bringing every thought into obedience. The weapons lay at your feet. The question is, would you take up arms and fight?

Its been a week of mixed emotions. It would have been great if I had not marred it with some stupid actions on Monday. Thats the story of my life so far hasn't it? But no more!!! I trust God that He will make something good out of my foolishness. He always does.

Rhema has been fantastic! I've been waiting for this opportunity for years. And I only remembered the excitement of being there after Lynette led worship. Woof... Imagine the fact that the year one's haven't even gotten into the flow of things. I was talking to Gloria on MSN a couple of days ago, telling her that I wanted to be the best student. I want to live up to that expectation that God has of me. These ARE exciting times!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Such stillness tonight
The breeze skipping across treetops
The shadows cast:
bold, intense
Influenced and swayed by the moonlight
Waving over the ripples in the surface
The sound of seeking the least resistance
Searching for the easy escape
These are sounds I recognise
They're familiar like a friend,
a lover I knew
Swayed by constant thought
Yet fearing the cold cruel cares of confrontation

Flee, coward, flee
As if you could outrun the midnight moon
Oh, as if...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Blogging is a strange thing. Its either there's nothing to write about or so many things that you don't know what to write about. I think part of the reason is because I'm learning so many things from different books that all I have a fragments from each. But its so exciting to piece together the lessons you take from each book and see that they're all interconnected. Proof that we all serve the same God.

So anyway, today was rather productive. Met up with Lynette at Bras Basah where I went to apply for a job at Tecman. Its interesting how they told me to fill up an application form, which I did. After I submitted the form, they told me to wait. And I waited for 15 minutes before the lady who was supposed to interview me simply came up to say that they would call me if I was shortlisted. I wanted to apply at Swee Lee Music Company as well but they told me that I had to send a resume through email.

Had dinner with Oon and Lynette, and Auntie Ruth at Swensen's. I decided to give her a treat because she was sponsering my school fees at Rhema. She's such a sweet lady! Dinner was filled with passionate discussions about church and other spiritual things. Auntie Ruth encouraged me with her wise and kind words. Its amazing how much belief she has in me. Its time for me to believe that I can do the things God has planned for me as well.

I went to Plaza Singapura yesterday for a personal retreat and prayer. Its so true that when you seek Him, you will find Him. I just need to dig deeper to find out His will and direction but results have been encouraging so far.

Fact:
"We shouldn't be troubled in the flesh. Was Jesus troubled in the flesh? Didn't He go forth with perfect victory? ......Even your eyes have to be sanctified by the power of God so that they strike fire everytime you look at a sinner, and the sinner will be changed."
| Smith Wigglesworth |

Imagine that... Being anointed with such power and carrying the aura of the Holy Spirit with you everywhere you go. Gives me something to aim for. Brokenness... It is such a Godly aspect but too often we're waiting to be broken before we are ready to be used by God. Why must we be forced into a place of wretchedness & hopelessness before we are willing to surrender ourselves wholeheartedly?

"A broken spirit and a contrite heart/ He will not despise"
That is all God wants. Not a broken heart or a broken body. Although He can use us despite these problems, it doesn't give God a chance to use us at our best. He needs this so that there's no pride or selfish ambition in the way. We all know what stumbling blocks those can be. So the key here is willing, selfless surrender.

"Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation."
| Psalm 91:14-16 |

This is what is promised when we abide in Christ. What Jesus did every morning was to spend time with God and wait till God poured out His Spirit on Him. (Mark 1:35-37)
Where the Holy Spirit is, revelation is promised, freedom is promised. (2 Corinthians 3:14-18) Only when we are filled with the Holy Spirit, will we reflect the Glory of God.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Conversations in secret
away from you
make them whisper
make them cry out your name
You make the moon shiver
drawing with your finger
a canvas of water
your inspiration a mystery

The coloured glow
the dirty dawn
dictates my moods
decides my paths
leads me on
lets me go
Finding flawed reasoning
Deceived, misled and sadly wrong

Selfish ambitions
shallow dreams
the resolutions of yesterday
made null and vacant
lusciousness in abundance
amaze me, my fantasy
here a struggle emerges
countless battles taking place

Here in your radiance
the ever dancing lights
always changing
the Rhythm cries
basking in false memories
never happened, emotions lie
fight on, fight on
promise me my victory
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Been spending quite a lot of time with Matt and the guys. Which is a good thing... But I don't like what I'm letting myself fall back into. Something is wrong and I intend to make it right. Was this one of the reasons why I distanced myself in the first place? To flee temptation?

Die, flesh, DIE!!!
How can someone get into the divine order when he is torn between these two things: God and the world? You will NEVER reach God's promises if you're hanging on to the things of the earth. Romans 8:7-8 says that the sinful nature cannot please God.

I want to please God

Baybeats 2006
It was fantastic to see the new bands, the new sounds, the new crowd. There's always a sense of nostralgia when you see all the people you used to know. I was thinking to myself, this used to be MY scene and MY crowd. But now not anymore. But thats ok. It was fun while it lasted.

A Vacant Affair
First of all, let me say that the sound coming from the stage was amazing. High energy, deep bass, crystal clear highs. I haven't heard a band sound this good in a long time. But AVA were something different today. Was it the intense soaring vocals? The showmanship of Aaron and Joshua? Or Maha(oops) Rudi with the killer effects? Heck... Even Shen sounded good for once on his gay pink bass. Many have not seen Matthew as passionate as this and were amazed as AVA did what they did best on stage. Rocking out the crowd and having fun at the same time. AVA proved once again that they represent one of Singapore's best in the post-hardcore genre. With the release of their 5-song EP, I think its safe to say that much much more can be expected from Wake Me Up's newest addition.

Excerpt from Our Daily Bread (13 February 2006)
I heard a story about a small church that was having a reunion. A former member who attended the celebration had become a millionaire. When he testified about how God had blessed him over the years, he related an incident from his childhood.

He said that when he earned his first dollar as a boy, he decided to keep it for the rest of his life. But then a guest missionary preached about the urgent need on the mission field. He struggled about giving his dollar. “The Lord won, however,” the man said. Then, with a sense of pride he added, “I put my treasured dollar in the offering basket. And I am convinced that the reason God has blessed me so much is that when I was a little boy I gave Him everything I possessed.” The congregation was awestruck by the testimony—until a little old lady in front piped up, “I dare you to do it again!”

Wow. It seems like yesterday's faith is not enough for today's miracles. What a way to remind you that the Christian walk is a daily affair. It is kind of inconsistent that we expect God to forget our sins and only remember the good deeds or victories in faith we had in the past. Faith must be continuous.

Just some light-hearted humour that I found on the internet. It does ring true in a way though.

---

Q: How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We choose not to make a statement of either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb however, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.

---

Jesus turns water into wine (John 2:1-12)
When I read about this miracle, the first of Jesus' ministry, I had always thought that the lesson was given by the host of the party. I always thought that it was about saving the best for last. But the host is hardly the best spiritual role model. So we take a look at Jesus.

It puzzles me that Jesus, in verse 4, would be so unwilling to help. the mother of Jesus, fits the universal mold of a mother. When there surfaces a problem during the wedding, she calls on her son to help. Why did she do so? Was it because she knew He could solve the problem by going to get more wine? Or that He could to try to appease the guests? I'd like to think that she knew her son better than anyone else. Enough to know that He was someone special enough to be able to do something miraculous.

My mom also used to have a knack of volunteering my help to others. Thats why I can really relate to Jesus' reaction.
"Why do you involve me?" (NIV)
"What has this got to do with me?" (NKJV)
"How does that concern us?" (NLT)
It sounds like He's really reluctant to help. Sounds like any indignant, rebellious son doesn't it? But we find out the cause of his annoyance. He wasn't ready to start demonstrating His power.
"My time has not come..."

But we see that mummy dearest instructs the servants to be ready for His instructions. She doesn't force Him into helping but instead waits for Him to agree. Jesus goes on to perform His first miracle transforming water to wine. So here we see that there is a need, a lack of wine. Don't we find that we face that very same problem quite often? That we are always lacking one thing or another? Where there is a need, we remember that we have a God who can handle it.

Isn't it wonderful how we have a God who can take the ordinary and transform it into something incredible? Into something of high quality! The pots containing the water-turned-to-wine were ordinary stone pots. Used for ceremonial washings. He didn't need fantastic, priceless China vases. All he needed were common stone pots. In the same way, God can take people like us to achieve His purpose. All we need is to be filled with the water, the Holy Spirit and something good will pour forth. Something wonderful, something different, something of high quality.

Jesus, sensing a need, a request and an opportunity to provide, displayed His miraculous power and glory. He went ahead with it despite His initial reservations about demonstrating His power so early. Because He knew that this miracle would cause the disciples' faith in Him to increase. So it is with all of His miracles, they always work to build our faith.
| written by daryl |

I think my body is tired. I didn't rest much before and after the soccer match on sunday and I think my body is complaining. Sunday's match was quite an exciting one. We started off quite jittery and conceded a goal quite quickly. I think it was because the team was half Charis and half MPCC. Usually the majority of people are from MPCC with Dennis or myself joining in. So we came to our senses and started to dominate after letting in that goal. I managed to put in the equaliser after a scramble in the box. Its funny how many I score for Charis despite not being a striker.

The 2nd half saw us begin to tire out. We were getting overrun by their midfield and we didn't have melvin or calvin to beef up the center. I felt that my position in the team should not have been central midfield because of my lack of aerial ability. Every ball that Gerald or Joel pumped up was being headed back by their number 21. But there was no choice. We did not have any subs after Ethan left. They started to run riot in our third of the field and one guy even managed to dribble past our 2 center-backs and score. We desperately tried to rally and get our game together after that. Jean Francois missed narrowly and I had another shot that tamely rolled past the outside of the goalpost. Despite our collective efforts to pull back, we ended the game after the my last shot, and arguably the best chance of the half, got deflected wide.

But more importantly, I've been thinking about what Lynette said on Sunday. This was mentioned in Mr Bound's book too. If people can work 8 hours a day in the world, why can't we work 8 hours for God? I've not been as disciplined as I should. Get up off your butt, daryl... Your work is to pray.

There's so much to talk about. So much that occurred within this weekend that I don't know where to begin. I thought that army life should become more relaxed as my ORD date approaches but it seems that isn't the case. Of course there are certain privilege of being one of the ORD personnel but its seems that because the other 3 'specs' (specialists) in my batch are clearing their off-days earlier, I end up having to do the work in the company line.

But enough complaining, let me summarise my weekend. I went back to camp on Friday night after a sumptuous meal with the cell at the 85 food center. I had COS duty on Saturday so I decided to book in the night before. Saturday turned out to be my unit's mobilisation day so it was busy busy / no time to rest. Felt a headache coming on in the afternoon but it got better after I popped a couple of aspirin. Planned to watch the 3rd place play-off between germany and portugal but I couldn't wake up. Was awoken by Papa's SMS from China informing me that Germany had won. Fell back asleep and was awoken at about 6:10am by a call from the COS from the other company. I had totally forgotten about Flag Raising which was supposed to be at 6am.

Left camp around 9am and headed to church where I joined Lynette for prayer. Well, it wasn't much prayer today rather than a discussion about what we're supposed to pray for. Well... My stand is, if there isn't anything specific given by God to pray for, then just pray whats in your heart. And if thats done already, then just speak to God in tongues. I remember Lynette saying to me before, "...many of God's things will come to pass (because of your effort to pray those 15 minutes)"
Worship was nice today. I really liked the music. I could hear people like Gerald and Sam really worshipping with their instruments. I'm sure the rest were doing so too but these 2 really stood out for me. And it covered everything else... there were mistakes but they didn't distract as much. Pastor's sermon was quite Youth centred. It was quite cute as he gave examples of people serving as young as 12 years old. Which was, to me, a way of saying, "Why are you, 16-25 year olds doing sitting around on your bums?!?"

Of course the new 3Gs were a refreshing change from the Go, Grow, Glow of XS...

Goal - Grounded - Groomed

The altar call was for those considering serving full time. And honestly, I feel that it didn't apply to me because I wouldn't consider doing such a thing. UNLESS God calls me... and for now, the call is to study at RBTC and not to go full time. To me, there is a difference. So I only went up because there was a general call for a blessing. I think there were 4 people who came up to pray for me.
There was Gabriel... with his call for me to sweep aside the distractions in my life. Stanley was praying for me behind me at this time.
Then came Leon. He said something about me being very clear about my purpose and direction. About me and my family having a collective purpose for God. Basically an encouragement to strive on and that I'm doing the right thing I guess.
Pastor came last and gave the similar prophecy about having the anointing to teach. About being able to speak in front of lots of people.
Generally it was an encouragement and nudge in the right direction by God.

Going back to camp seems so redundant now. I was the only specialist from my batch back in camp this week because I was trying to save up my off-days. But it turns out that I have enough already. Even before my PC recommended more off-days to help me clear in August. Thank God for the favour granted to me. I've been really enjoying civilian life. I went to Swee Lee on Saturday to buy drums equipment. There was a 50% sale and when I arrived at Bras Basah Complex at 8:10 am, almost one hour BEFORE opening, there was a long queue snaking round the entire level. At that time there were about 200 people in front of me I think. Queued for 4 hours before I got in. Spent another 4 hours picking out things like drum skins, drumsticks, a metronome, a keyboard some sound equipment and percussion instruments like the congas and cajones. Spent close to $2000 in those 8 hours. Money well spent I hope.

I'm hoping this would improve the quality of worship in church... There're so many aspects to make a worship experience a positive one that I sometimes lose the plot. Its important to remember that so much relies on one's personal time with God. Smith Wigglesworth said, "We have to get to the place where we know that unless we meet face to face with God & get all the crooked places out of our lives, there will be no room for the indwelling power of God."

So there you go...

Extravagant Worship
Isn't it interesting how we so often focus on extravagent worship? On giving our best? On having a spirit of excellence. What a wonderful intent! What a passion and a heart for God! To see our church turned from stagancy to dynamic worship! What a vision, what a dream. So when its time for us to lead worship, we choose songs that we think would really get the church moving and jumping. Just like the ones Hillsongs, Vineyard and City Harvest Church leads...

But there's one problem... We don't have the expertise of the bands that they have. We plan everything nicely but we forget the limitations of our musicians. And this is quite common for churches that work on a volunteer basis. So our music cannot be pulled off the way we want it to and no matter what we do, we cannot get it to sound the way it does on the CD. And so we get discouraged... We start to wonder what went wrong in our preparation. Didn't we pray hard enough? Were there some unconfessed sins? Maybe we weren't living right or missed something that God was trying to tell us. Honestly, it could be any of these things... But one important thing we could take note of is that the music just sounds like crap. People simply cannot worship if they are cringing to an out of tune singer, or instrumentalists playing the wrong notes, or a drummer going out of beat. Its simply distracting.

There are ways to minimise things like these from happening. Knowing what you want to achieve during a practice and communicating it to the band can be really effective. My personal favourite is choosing familiar songs. Although songs can be simple, it really frees up a musician to worship. Personally, I find that its better for the congregation and the musicians to worship without struggling with new chords, melodies or rhythms. Its gets people's focus off the song and onto what really matters. God Himself.

Of course, I'm not saying that we restrict ourselves to the same songs week in, week out. There are times where we can and should inject freshness into a worship set list. But there are limitations to consider. Can the band master the song in one sitting? Can the sound on the CD be recreated by the church band and if it can't will it still minister to the people? Can the congregation get into the song quickly?

There are people who focus too much on the technical aspects of worship. But focusing only on the spiritual aspect of a worship set can turn it into an aural disaster. God's grace and love may cover mistakes but shouldn't it be our jobs to provide a atmosphere of worship? Excellence isn't striving for things we cannot or have not achieved but to give the best of what we have and what we know.

Worship and the Gospel isn't driven by trends and fads. It is driven by the people who love God. Music and methods may change and evolve over the years but at the centre of it all lies a pure simple truth. Its always about who we worship. Everything is done to enhance our worship but never at the expense of our relationship with one another. There is power in worship. But the power overflows from the lives of the composers, lyricists and musicians. The music & worship is only as anointed as the lives of those playing, singing and leading. The worship session will be empty & dead if our relationship with God is empty & dead.

We have strive to improve, of that there is no doubt. But its has to be done during practice. Not during the worship itself. If the song cannot be done comfortably during the single practice that most church bands have, it shouldn't be done at all... The aim isn't to play all the songs that the worship leader prepares. The goal is to usher people into the presence of God. And if that means cutting songs, or people for that matter, it has to be done. Excellence doesn't mean impressing people with skill but giving our all in worship. When we worship while we play, we draw people in to worship WITH us.
| written by daryl - 7 May 2006 |

Booking in to an empty bunk is quite an experience. Its as if you were the only one left after the Rapture. You see helmets on the floor, slippers & boots strewn about, grey army t-shirts and uniform draped over chairs, half empty "subway" cups. You think to yourself, "They must have left in a hurry!!"

Its good to be alone when you're in the right frame of mind. Especially after a weekend with almost every friend you have. So there I was, relaxing in the bunk. Watching "Boston Legal" which, in my opinion, is the coolest & funniest show since Seinfeld. Later I switched over to the World Cup Match between England & Ecuador. It was a typical, uninspired England performance where they struggled to win by that single Beckham goal. It was lights out for me at the final whistle but I found that after I got into bed, I couldn't sleep. I just lay there with my eyes closed but my mind was racing with all the things that I care about. I think it was almost 3am before I dozed off into a dream about me not being able to sleep...

Am I doing what it takes to follow Christ? If it came down to the fact that He wanted me to remain in Singlehood so as to fulfill His plan, would I obey? There are so many things I'm willing to give up... Namely money, time & effort...

"But God!! Isn't it my right to have a partner?"

But God reminds me about all the times that I sing about living for Him. About giving my heart & my soul. Isn't God's promises enough? Its never been about my finding the right one. Its so much more than that. He reminds me that He has the best plan for me but I keep jumping the gun, getting myself hurt and wallowing in a pit that I dig for myself. God reminds me that He has a plan for me. To make me strong emotionally & spiritually. And there is reassurance, peace, joy & strength to overcome everything that stands before me.

~~~ Dusk & Summer ~~~
She smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles
when the world is hers and she held your eyes
out in the breezeway down by the shore in the lazy summer
And she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers
She looked deep into you as you lay together quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer

And she combed your hair, and she kissed your teeth
and she made you better than you'd been before
She told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer
And she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap
She said "nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer"

She said, "no one is alone the way you are alone"
and you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last

But you've already lost
when you only had barely enough of her to hang on
| dashboard confessional |

I have had the most opportunity to blog during the past 2 weeks but the least desire to. I think its because I've been living according to German Time because of the world cup. Its been one heck of a journey. But the bad news is that I haven't been spending ANY time reading the bible or praying so far. Thats not a good thing. So I think this week in camp would be good for me as it'll free me from most distractions I have at home (ie. Computer games, TV). For now its back to camp. I'm hoping I'll be able to get out on wednesday for the Paul Baloche Worship Seminar. I already have the ticket!

People are going to chide me for being like a school girl for what I'm about to write but I feel that I have to write it anyway. There's something oddly reassuring about being with friends. Whether they be from church, school, army or just people you chat with online. What matters the most is that they are around and that they enjoy being in your company and vice versa. Its during these times where they just won't let you feel down or depressed because they are genuine and they let you forget yourself and who you're "supposed" to be. Its people like these who accept you for who you are, forgive you for your mistakes and even use those mistakes to learn and grow. These are the special people and they are the people I love. You guys know who you are.

Thank You Jesus that my future is secure in You. Thank You that all I need to do is to be sure that I'm walking beside You daily. You make me blameless. You make me righteous. You are my hope. Thank You that You turn a blind eye to my worthlessness. I will trust You at ALL times and I will not be moved by people or circumstances. I will be Spiritually, Mentally & Emotionally as well as Physically rooted to You... My rock, my strong tower, my refuge...
Amen.

::: Verse of the Day :::
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
| Psalm 84:11 |

Dear God... I failed again. Intentionally...

Please be patient with me as I keep trying.

I've been thinking about how hopeless a romantic I've made myself become. About how I've idealised having a relationship with someone and how it would make me complete. Well, maybe not complete, because I'm already complete in Christ. But it would fill up something that I feel is lacking in my life. There's the problem summarised in that sentence right there. I feel that there is something I lack and therefore I feel as if I'm incomplete.

There is truth in the fact that I'm alone and the truth is it makes me feel depressed. But there is a deeper truth that I'm pressing in to find. The deeper truth is that I lack nothing. I have all I need in Christ! I have fullness of joy in all circumstances... Not because there are joyful circumstances (sometimes there are!), but because I count it all as joy. The importance is that I rejoice in what matters. That is what builds my faith, that is what destroys the distractions. Its these distractions that hinder prayer. Prayer is effective and powerful. Thats a given. The devil cannot stop the power of prayer but he can distract the person who prays. He can shout lies in your ear so that you don't hear the whispered answers to your prayer. I want to break out of that cycle. I want to be listening to the voice of God instead. I want my relationship with God to be strong and stable.

Joy joy joy... I prayed in tongues on the way to church this morning and I prayed for joy in my life. Because I constantly fall back into the rut of feeling miserable. This morning was especially difficult because I woke up with a thought/dream/idea in my head. That I'd buy her coffee, the type that comes in glass bottles, for her late night studying. And it made so much sense till I started asking myself... Why can't I just leave it be? Its not as if she doesn't know how I feel. Why do I still pursue that wisp of a dream?
Why indeed...

On a brighter note, the world cup has started and I'm enjoying the whole atmosphere of it. It isn't as fun as when church friends used to come over for the big matches but hopefully that can be arranged after the group stages. The irritating thing is that I won't be able to catch the matches on weeknights because I'll be in camp. I'm beginning to get too used to civillian life again. As my ORD date approaches, I begin to feel a sense of muted excitement. As if I'm afraid that something bad might happen before I ORD. Thats always the case with me and I need to learn to stop worrying about this.

Worship practice as usual today... I had slight problems playing one of the songs that Jean wanted. There was a change of rhythm in the song and I had problems getting it right. The problem was that it was a simple change and I knew that it was 'do-able'. Thats the thing about being in band or any group where people must work together. One person or instrument out of tune makes it all sound bad. The thing I have to learn is to be more assertive in playing. I have to be in-time and confident about it.

You were never a mistake...